The Penny

Pennies seem all dandy and harmless until you really think about it

The Penny

Bryce Devine ‘23, Staff Writer

If I was walking down the street and saw a penny, I wouldn’t even be bothered to pick it up, and I’m assuming this applies to many. They are gross, sticky, and just taste awful. I certainly don’t carry around pennies, or any change for that matter, and I don’t know anybody who does. It is worth a lot less than cash, but weighs a lot more and is difficult to store. I am able to walk into Star and buy a Red Bull without even taking out my wallet. All I have to do is use the Apple Pay feature on my phone. Digital money is so easy, making change virtually forgotten.

As of 2019, it costs 1.99 cents to just make a penny. Our own government lost 46 million dollars making pennies! Why would we waste money while making money? It is the most counter-productive thing I have ever seen. If it costs more to make a penny than its worth, what’s the point in the first place. No one uses pennies anyways so why do we pretend they are important? At least dimes, quarters, and nickels are worth more than they are to make, and people actually use these coins. But then again, the only place I need quarters are at those toll booths and street parking. If pennies just disappeared, I wouldn’t notice until someone told me. What am I even supposed to do with any change I do collect? I don’t want it jangeling in my pocket, and I don’t carry around a purse I can just dump these worthless metals into. I’m forced to hold on to them until I get home where I can put them into a jar, where in 5 years I’ll get maybe $30 at a coin redemption machine. The penny just makes no sense as it is literally worthless and would be better to melt down and sell for scrap metal. The only value I see in them is in the zombie apocalypse, where I’ll be able to use them as bullet casings.

I’m not generally scared of germs, but when you think about it, change is disgusting. We all know kids eat those pennies up and pass them straight through, and it’s not like they ever get cleaned because who’s just sitting in their house cleaning pennies? Countless people touch change, as it is generally more durable than paper money and lasts longer in the public, only making it grosser. I’m calling it right now that literally no one will miss the penny if we get rid of it. The quarters have states on the back so you can collect them like baseball cards, but pennies are just a basic, brown hassle. We could be saving hours of time every year if we didn’t have to deal with pennies and other change. In general pennies are actually worthless, and it would be a better use of my time to throw them at that stupid racoon in my garbage then save them for any future purchases.

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